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Dutchman's Dogs (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Dutchman's Dogs Synopsis - Spongebob and his friends decide to check out The Flying Dutchman's new hot dog restaurant which has its main ingredient being people's souls. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Construction Crew Sailor Fish Sea Spider Motorbike Ghost Floaters Cemetery Ghosts Smitty Werben Jager Man Jensen (cameo) Squidward's Hopes & Dreams (cameo) Old Man Jenkins The Flying Dutchman Bubble Bass Bubble Bass’ Niece (mentioned) Soul Batter Eugene H. Krabs Sandy Cheeks Gary The Snail Patrick Star Squidward Tentacles Con Man (cameo) “Hot Dogs” Mr.Krabs’ sister (mentioned) Little Girl & Boy Various Bikini Bottomites The Story The story begins with Spongebob on his way to work while singing… SPONGEBOB: I’M READY! I’M READY! I’M READY! Before Spongebob could take his usual left, he stops in his tracks when seeing a construction crew blocking the way working on the road. SPONGEBOB: Um? Why are these guys here? The Sailor Fish from “No Weenies Allowed”, who is wearing a yellow hard hat, walks up to Spongebob and answers his question. SAILOR: Fair lad… these sailors, including myself, are working on and sanding roads for the better of us all! And I am in charge of all operations! SPONGEBOB: Hey! Aren’t you that guy that was in the line of the Salty Spitoon? How tough are ya? SAILOR: How tough am I?! I watched The Fish Hunter! SPONGEBOB: And? SAILOR: With my house lights off… Spongebob looks stunned. SPONGEBOB: I’ll um…. just take the scenic route. Spongebob runs off while the Sailor and his crew get back to work. Spongebob walks down another road once again singing, SPONGEBOB: I’M READY! I’M READY! I’M READY!!! I’m, uhh.. Spongebob goes quiet once he begins to see the sky become grayer & more misty. SPONGEBOB: Man, It is getting very creepy looking out here. Spongebob continues to walk with caution. He hears a loud thump and shakes with fear. A creature then lands on his face. SPONGEBOB: SEA SPIDER!!!! Spongebob randomly grabs a shovel and begins assaulting himself with it. The sea spider gets away and Spongebob lays on the ground with two black eyes. SPONGEBOB: Ouch… Ouch… and more ouch… Spongebob's eyes turn back to normal and he continues onward. He then bumps into a sign. Spongebob, curious, wipes some cobwebs off of it and reads the sign as “Floaters Cemetery.” SPONGEBOB: This is a place I really do not want to be around! Spongebob continues to shake with fear when suddenly he hears loud moaning. SPONGEBOB: Moaning! Ghosts! Wait…… why does it sound happy? Spongebob then falls to the ground when a ghost riding a motorbike passes by. Entering the graveyard, Spongebob sees some ghosts eating translucent hot dogs. Other ghosts rise out of the graves and eat this meal as well. Smitty Werben Jager Man Jensen sits with Squidward's Hopes & Dreams eating some ghost hotdogs as well. Even Old Man Jenkins, despite still being alive, is enjoying the experience. OLD MAN JENKINS: All I know is hotdogs.. Spongebob remains confused and decides to ask one of the ghosts where they are getting these hot dogs. SPONGEBOB: Excuse me sir, where are you getting these? The ghost points in a direction to a building titled “Dutchman’s Dogs.” Spongebob walks on over. SPONGEBOB: Ring the bell? Spongebob does so and The Flying Dutchman shows up. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: WHO DARES DISTURB THE FLYING!!!!! …….. Oh wait, it's just you. What do you want Spongebob?! SPONGEBOB: Hi Flying Dutchman! What's shaking? THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: A little this and a little that, and I’m dead and I don’t get around much anymore. SPONGEBOB: I see THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: What do you want? I’m busy! SPONGEBOB: I just want to know where all your ghostmates.. OLD MAN JENKINS: And Old Man Jenkins.. SPONGEBOB: Are getting these ghostly hotdogs from? THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: I have decided to open me own weiner business! I’m sick of sailing the high seas trying to scare people when they are instead being scared by their own shadows or growing up or other stupid stuff! SPONGEBOB: Why hotdogs? THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: BECAUSE, I WANT TO!!!!! SPONGEBOB: Okay, Okay, chill… The Flying Dutchman serves another hotdog to the motorbike ghost. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Now enough 20 questions, I must get back to cooking me meals! SPONGEBOB: Okay! Goodbye! Spongebob proceeds to walk off but then gets an idea. SPONGEBOB: Hey wait Dutchy! I just got an idea that could increase your business revenue! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: And what would that be? SPONGEBOB: I can bring all my friends here to go and purchase your food items! The Flying Dutchman processes this thought, faces his restaurant and forms an evil grin. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Excellent idea Sponge Boy! Go bring your friends back here to Floaters Cemetery! PRONTO! Meanwhile, I will be making more hotdogs! SPONGEBOB: You got it! Lalala! Spongebob skips off. The Flying Dutchman enters his kitchen and faces Bubble Bass, who is scared and tied up. BUBBLE BASS: Please! Let me go! I did not commit any bad things!....... Well, except the time I stole my niece's lollipop. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Sorry not sorry! I must get my ingredients for the meals! And your soul seems like a good fit! BUBBLE BASS: Could I get an I.O.U? The Flying Dutchman puts an extractor onto Bubble Bass sucking his soul out and putting it into a batter that will cook more ghost hotdogs. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Hahahahhe! Spongebob arrives at The Krusty Krab excitedly getting the attention of Mr.Krabs, Sandy, Gary & Patrick. SPONGEBOB: I HAVE GOOD NEWS GUYS!!! PATRICK: We can finally walk the streets naked?! SPONGEBOB: Maybe someday. MR.KRABS: Boy! What has gotten you so ecstatic?! SANDY: I haven’t seen you this happy since the doctor prescribed those happy pills to you. SPONGEBOB: What amazing pills! Anyways, we are going to go and eat Ghost Hot Dogs! Squidward comes out of the bathroom with a newspaper and overhears. SQUIDWARD: Ghost Hot Dogs? SPONGEBOB: Yeah! Ghost Hot Dogs! SANDY: Spongebob, it is scientifically impossible for a hot dog to be a ghost. Hot Dogs are not living beings and there's no such thing as ghosts! PATRICK: Pfft, wrong! Just listen to my Ghost Box! Patrick turns a ghost box on and makes contact. PATRICK: Ghosts are real! THE BOX: Yes…. PATRICK: See! Inside a house with covered up blinds, illuminati posters & hacking material is the Con Man, pretending to be a ghost. He turns his microphone off and laughs manically at Patrick's stupidity. Mr.Krabs hides all of his money under a floorboard so he doesn’t have to pay. MR.KRABS: Are these ghost hot dogs free me boyo? I am broke! PATRICK: But you just hid.. MR.KRABS: Shut up! SPONGEBOB: From what I saw, there seems to be no bills. MR.KRABS: Wahoo! Lets go guys! Free food! Free food! SANDY: I guess I could go, but I still don’t see the possibility of there being ghosts! Its mythical! PATRICK: I LOVE HOT DOGS! I EVEN HAVE PICTURES OF THEM! Patrick shows a picture of a live action weiner dog dressed as a hot dog. GARY: Meow SPONGEBOB: I knew you would love hot dogs Gary! SQUIDWARD: Well I don’t, I like gluten free things. SPONGEBOB: Then we’ll get you gluten free! SQUIDWARD: Whatever, I have nothing else better to do. SPONGEBOB: To Floaters Cemetery! Spongebob skips off while Mr.Krabs & Squidward head to Mr.Krabs’ truck and Sandy walks along while Patrick carries Gary. SANDY: I am so skeptical about this. PATRICK: Would this “skeptical” be a flavor for a custard sandwich by any chance? Gary rolls his eyes at Patrick's stupidity. The scene cuts to Spongebob and his friends arriving at the cemetery, this time deserted and empty. SPONGEBOB: Where did all the ghosts go? SQUIDWARD: Who cares PATRICK: I care! SANDY: I don’t think any of these ghosts exist! MR.KRABS: Where is the free food?! The Flying Dutchman then flies out of his restaurant irritated by Spongebob's friends. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Would all of ye just can it already?! Ughhh!! PATRICK: See Sandy! Ghosts do exist! I am a paranormal medium after all! SANDY: Oh good grief. SPONGEBOB: Hey Dutchy! I brought my friends back here as said! SQUIDWARD: I don’t know why I signed up for this. Gary meows in agreement. MR.KRABS: Are you going to give us free food or not?! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: I will! Now are ye going to order or not?! SQUIDWARD: Maybe PATRICK: I would like fourteen hot dogs with a side of haluda! I also demand custard cups! Jars of mayonnaise! Naked pictures of Squidward! And a side of tea! SQUIDWARD: Wait what? THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: What would you like squirrel one? SANDY: You to stop faking this ghost act! Ghosts do not exist! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: That is most certainly incorrect! Atheist! SANDY: Faker! MR.KRABS: Sandy! Chill! Its free! Now ahem…. I would like all you can eat! That is free! GARY: Meow THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: And what about you Squid? SQUIDWARD: Water THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: ……..You people are a bunch of fruitcakes… The Dutchman flies off. Spongebob sits at Table 1 with Patrick & Sandy. SPONGEBOB: I can’t wait for our meals guys! PATRICK: I’m glad! Because, I didn’t go shopping! In two years… SANDY: Well, I suppose the meal could be alright, but there is no paranormal activity happening! PATRICK: Classic denial. Squidward, Mr.Krabs & Gary sit at Table 2. SQUIDWARD: This is idiotic.. MR.KRABS: At least I don’t have to spend a dime! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! GARY: Meow SQUIDWARD: What? I do not reek of desperation! Spongebob decides to stir up conversation with everybody. SPONGEBOB: So how are things guys? SANDY: Fine SQUIDWARD: Misreable MR.KRABS: I just scammed 75 cents out of me sister! And did not get beaten up! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! GARY: Meow SPONGEBOB: Yes Gary, I know you like to go skiing. PATRICK: I went skiing last week with a sack of potatoes! SQUIDWARD: Why did you go skiing with a sack of potatoes? PATRICK: Cause its 2018! Duh! SQUIDWARD: Dumb dolt! The Flying Dutchman finally returns with everybody's meals. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Eat up idiots.. Patrick devours his entire meal in one bite, Squidward sips and finishes his glass of water, Mr.Krabs decides to preserve instead of eat his meal so he will never have to pay, and Spongebob & Gary eat regularly. Sandy is surprised at how the Ghost Hot Dogs look. SANDY: This looks nasty. SPONGEBOB: Oh come on try it Sandy! It's delicious! PATRICK: And gruesome! SQUIDWARD: Gruesome means bad you dumb sack of a dead brain! PATRICK: I would prefer a brain that passed away but yours will do too! SQUIDWARD: Grrrr!! MR.KRABS: Try it Squirrel Lass! Its free! GARY: Meow! Meow! Sandy contemplates eating the meal. She picks it up and is about to eat it until pausing. SANDY: Wait a second! PATRICK: And a millisecond? Squidward does a facepalm at Patrick's continued stupid statements. SANDY: This is no ordinary hot dog! Your right Patrick! Ghosts do exist! Oh how I hate to admit that! PATRICK: I knew it! Ha! SPONGEBOB: So? What made you change your mind? SANDY(breaking the fourth wall): Don’t ask questions unnecessary to the plot! SPONGEBOB: But… ah never mind… anyways, what's the trouble? SANDY: This hot dog is made from live fish souls! He is feeding us to us! SQUIDWARD: What?! MR.KRABS: Get real! SANDY: I am as real as can be! Watch! Sandy marches on over to Dutchman's Dogs while Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr.Krabs & Gary follow. Sandy kicks the door down and much to her and eventually everybody else's surprise, sees The Flying Dutchman about to extract the souls out of a little girl & boy. SANDY: See! PATRICK: What? Those are just a pair of kids. SQUIDWARD: She means the extractor you stupid dummy! SPONGEBOB: Dutchy! What is this?! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Why I um I…. I’m babysitting my friends kids! Say hi you little twerps! The kids scream at almost getting their souls extracted and run off. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Well! Babysitting time is over! SPONGEBOB: Wait just a minute Dutchman! Were you going to extract those children's souls and do the same to my friends and myself?! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: You know… appearances can deceive. Sandy exits the room for a bit and then returns with a mob of angry ghosts who have overheard and realized what they have eaten. GHOST 1: You fed ghosts to other ghosts! GHOST 2: Cannibal! GHOST 3: How sickening! OLD MAN JENKINS: Yeah! And I am still alive! The mob surrounds the Dutchman. Spongebob turns the reverse on the extractor and begins sucking the other souls out of the batter so they can return to their rightful bodies. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: Noooooooooo!!!!! The ghosts begin severely beating the Dutchman up while Old Man Jenkins just whacks him with his cane. The souls begin returning to their bodies, including Bubble Bass. BUBBLE BASS: It was actually kind of fun being a ghost. After all the souls come back to life, the other ghosts finally stop beating their former friend up who now lays on the ground a horrible maimed mess. THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: And I thought my death was bad…. Spongebob & his friends are escorted out of the cemetery by the good ghosts. SPONGEBOB: Thanks fellas! GHOST 5: Anytime! Spongebob & the others begin heading on home when Mr.Krabs happens to dawn on a question. MR.KRABS: So wait? Is the food still free? Category:SquidwardTentacles35